Opinionated Metalhead: Cowabunga Bay Didn’t Come to Slay


Video Transcript (editing in progress- for those that felt it was written in crayon between bong hits)

Hey Pit Nation! This is Savage Annie having some Americone Dream, (because I’m living it) with yet another Opinionated Metal-head.

You know those venues that aren’t really venues but think it’s a good idea to book a metal and rock showcase through the summer. And then don’t listen to the band’s music before they come play? Well think no further than Cowabunga Bay, who didn’t come to shred or slay. That’s right, I just rhymed. Fantastic, Right?

XPOZ and Smash Magazine partnered up with Cowabunga Bay recently to put together a showcase featuring a bunch of local and not so local bands from noon to 9 every Friday throughout the summer. Most recently, a show on August 3. I happened to swing by to attend after my day job.

The crowd was thin when I got there, but increased in size as the sun went down. (It was a hot as fuck.)  It had your average local dive bar sized crowd, which for a waterpark I expected more and for something that was going on throughout the summer expecting more.

Cowabunga Bay ownership, cut one of the many bands sets short that was booked for the day after some patrons walked out and complained about the music. It was said that the music wasn’t family friendly.

Not because of profanity, but due to the fact that it was too hard and might scare the children. So the drums were too loud, and they’re screaming vocals were too much for you know some of these patrons.

Now, I don’t know what the primary demographic of waterpark patrons in Nevada is and Henderson, but I don’t appreciate the fact that my music is being treated with the bias of being non-family friendly. I’m sorry that us metal heads, you know, families and fans are thicker skinned than your pop regurgitated shit loving conservative families that walked out.

Last time I checked their money isn’t better than mine, but apparently that’s your opinion. You know that’s cool. Yeah, I’m putting words in your mouth, because that’s how you are fucking acted.

You know, I can tell you right now that I would leave that establishment and if they were playing Drake’s “Kiki., Do You Love Me?” bullshit all day long and ask for a refund because I don’t want to have to listen to it. I guess it’s the same thing for these families. So maybe I should have just, you know, ask for a refund and left and let it be that

Yeah, way to have an expanded, unbiased palette of music. Last time I checked, I paid to see a metal show and I didn’t pay 5, 10 or 20 bucks. I paid 30 bucks apiece for tickets. And then I also bought probably $40 worth of drinks and then another $20 to $25 worth of food.

So please explain to me how my money isn’t good enough in comparison to those other people who this metal music threatens and makes uncomfortable and makes them want to leave.

Tell me how spending $120 at your establishment in both entry fees and you know commodities is not good enough for you and I’m one person. I’m one person. I brought another person with me and I paid for pretty much almost everything. How is that not good enough for you.

Did you even take the time to check 30 seconds of each band songs to that if they were right for your establishment? Your patron demographic, which I’m sure you have plenty of reports on like any good business person would I know that I have a demographic of a lot of people between the ages of 25 and 35 in the Las Vegas and Henderson area that frequent my blog mainly on Thursdays.

How the fuck you not have that information for your own demographic when people are buying membership cards or season passes. They’re filling out forms for you.

Explain this to me how the fuck did you not vet things like a good business person hosting an event. Oh my god. The unprofessionalism as just like undeniably the most reprehensible I’ve ever seen. You know, and I’ve seen some pretty unprofessionally put together events and, you know…

After kicking off one band you required all the other bands to lower their volume substantially to where it was basically turned into a “whisper metal” show and it’s not a thing. No one comes to a metal or rock show to have the music like softly hit their eardrums they come to have that bass hit them in the chest. They come to have those guitar riffs sing to them.

And they come to have those vocals voice their pain and their inner demons and whatever else. It is something that we look forward to as metal heads and rockers. We don’t look forward to quiet music. We’re not looking to go to the fucking symphony, you know?!

Not that there’s anything wrong with that because I love classical music, but there’s a time and a place for that. I’m not going to a classical show. I’m going to a fucking rock show and you fucking dialed it down because somebody was upset, and their money was better than mine. Last time I checked it all comes from the same place.

***Deep breaths***

The kicker about all of this is that the last show that was scheduled for this Friday the 10th was cancelled via the Facebook event page. Some bands were not informed until they read that post about it.

Their promoters weren’t even able to pass that along.  It was unprofessional. You had these bands going out and selling tickets. You had these bands promoting these events. You had these promoters promoting these events. You had smash magazine and XPOZ promoting these events and marketing these events for your establishment.

And you done fucked it up. You basically screwed over all of these people for all the time that they spent doing this to get people to that show; to get people through your gates,
paying money to your establishment for booze, for food, for nonalcoholic stuff .

They can bring their family there. There aren’t many all ages venues in town. This was an opportunity for them to attend that with their families and share that experience with them and you basically jipped them out of it. So, congratulations Cowabunga Bay owners.

You know, I’m glad that your family values are so bias that you don’t include all types of families to include metal and rock families of which there are plenty of here in Vegas. This is a huge music scene and yes rock and metal is only part of it, but you could have done better. You done fucked up kid,

Stick to pop stick to those families that love that softer music and have the thinner skin. Don’t, don’t, don’t book any more metal shows or rock shows. Don’t try and if you do try again. All I can say is if you fuck over the bands, because you made them bring their equipment. set up and then kick one of them off the stage and make them pull their equipment out and put it back in their truck.

Loading in and loading out and not be able to play your set is demoralizing and it’s a shitty situation for any band to go through. But, the fact that it was not even the promoters decision, it was management of the establishment, because it scared some children. You can eat a bag of dicks, bro.

And I know this is all over the place, but I don’t give a fuck because I like I seriously think that you guys fucked  this shit up and I will not be recommending your establishment to my family, to my friends or anybody my professional network which is pretty vast and although my professional network isn’t primarily in the music scene there are plenty of people that asked me for recommendations on food and entertainment out here in Henderson and Las Vegas and you will not be one of them.

I don’t plan on spending any more money in your establishment or any of your related establishment and so if you own more than one business. I will boycott them too.

Because there’s one thing that I despise more than fucking me over. It’s my fucking my friends over and fucking with my music scene, don’t do it. I’ll fuck you up.

Anyway, that’s the end of my rant. I’m going to enjoy the rest of my Americone Dream because I’m living it and that is just going to be my catchphrase for the day. Yeah, this is so good. Deuces!

#SupportLocalBands #ButDontBeADick #SavageAnnieOut

Courtesy of FB TrollsRUs “ Grady Jones That article was written almost as poorly as the situation was handled though the jist is correct, (once you successfully navigate the Bill and Ted’s Bogus Adventure use of adjectives) in that the band got screwed.
Lugging your gear thru the the molten sand to play on the surface of Mars w the eye of freaking Sauron blasting skin cancer on to you, only to be cut off by some Bernie Sanders look-alike who’s got like 6 days left on this planet – WHEN THE BAND WAS KILLING IT- was seriously wack.
Hence i have to agree with the writer even though the article was written in crayon between bong hits; it’s pretty accurate.”


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